Bite Me and I'll Bite You Back!

Let me tell you about the time I was completely frustrated and decided to take matters into my own hands.

Let's start from the beginning. I was enrolled in preschool at around 4 years of age. There was a male in my preschool class who decided he wanted to target me and bully me. Everyday this guy would bite me and cause physical harm. It got to the point where there were very visible marks on different parts of my body. I initially tried to voice my concerns to my teacher, but felt like none of my motions were being taken seriously. My mother eventually noticed a pattern of marks and bruises on my body and decided to do the right thing and report the incident to the preschool's Director. Again, nothing was done to resolve the issue. The issue of me being bullied, targeted and injured was still there. The person behind the violence was not being properly disciplined, so he kept doing it. At this point my mother and I were out of solutions. We had both reached out to our proper chain of command, but nothing was being done.

After using our resources and "doing the right thing" my mother decided to have a heart to heart conversation with me. She looked me in my eyes and told me to "BITE HIM BACK THE NEXT TIME HE BITES YOU". Fair enough, right? Some may even call it self-defense.

I knew the enemy would strike again, but this time I was prepared to take action. Real action! Not the action of talking it over or going to the authorities. It was evident that no one really cared to resolve the issue. So my mother and I decided on a different approach.

Of course my classmate decides he wants to bit me again, but all I could hear in my head was my mother's voice saying "BITE HIM BACK". That's exactly what I did! Not only did I bite him, but I held on for a few seconds causing more harm to him than he has ever caused to me.

After I had done the exact same thing he had been doing to me for a while, I got punished and ended up being expelled from the school.

Although this only seems like a simple story from my childhood, the lessons learned and connections to other adult and criminal events are very relevant.

We can simply go back to the basics. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you can dish it, take it. If you've been biting me for a while and I turn around and do it to you once, don't be surprised. Don't play the victim because you're not.

Most importantly I've learned that not everyone is treated equally. Sometimes if you want your voice to be heard it's best to take action. It doesn't feel good to be targeted, huh?

To my bitters, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Sex is Like Green Beans for Women

Sex is like green beans for SOME women, not all women. Don't debate me on this, just read on.

Some people love green beans, some people hate green beans. If you're like me, you probably have a neutral feeling towards green beans. You can either take them or leave them, no big deal.

Sex is a big deal to women, but not really. When women want sex, they really WANT it. When they don't want it, it's the furthest thing from their minds.

Green beans are pretty good, especially when you haven't had them in a while. Every once in a while I crave green beans like none other. It gets to the point where I want green beans everyday, for weeks. Once I fulfill my "green bean craving", I get tired of them. It then gets to the point where I would prefer to go without them for months. I'd rather not even think about green beans.

Green beans are great, but when you overdo it and eat them everyday, every week, every month, it can get old very quickly.

Sex is great, but when it's the same thing everyday, every week, every month, things can get pretty boring and a lot of women just lose interest.

Mix it up some. Throw some carrots, corn and potatoes in every once in a while. No one wants to just eat green beans!

Bitter Men and Child Support

Relax, men aren't bitter. They just act like it when it comes to paying child support.

A lot of men complain about paying child support. I often hear the famous line "I pay child support, but the woman isn't spending that money on the kids". I also hear "women should have to document how they're spending child support money". This is where we have an issue.

The whole concept of women not spending money from child support earnings on their children is not a logical. If that woman is providing a healthy home and good lifestyle for that child the question "where is the money going?" really isn't a question. More than likely the household bills in order to keep the house functioning properly is more than any child support check will ever be (in normal cases). Think about this for a second. Housing is being provided (mortgage), heat & air conditioning is being provided (gas bill/electric bill), water is being provided (utilities), electricity is being provided, transportation is being provided (gas/mileage), these are ALL necessities and that's just to list a few. Not to mention, hospital/doctor's visits, daycare expenses and food are other items that can get very costly when raising a child. Still don't know where that precious money is going?

If the basics are being taken care of, no man should ever have to question where their child support check is going towards. We're all adults, we can easily do the math. Some child support checks aren't even enough to cover half of a mortgage. Let's try to break this down a little better because women have to document where the money is going, right?

Children have to take baths every night. In order to qualify to continue to get child support checks you must measure the amount of water being used in their baths and while brushing your child's teeth. Do you cook for your child? Okay, measure the amount of electricity being used from the meals you prepare. Oh, your child uses light to do their homework? You have to measure the amount of light being used. Your child is not freezing during winter storms? Well, how much heat/gas is being used? No, you're not done documenting everything. Your child uses the bathroom. How many times do they flush the toilet? Why? Because every month you pay for water and sewer. Keeping up with this stuff is easy, right? Wrong! How silly does this sound?

This sounds as silly as a man complaining about paying child support. Listen. Child care and support goes beyond cute outfits and toys. So when you see a woman at a nail salon treating herself stop assuming she's not taking care of her children and stop assuming she's blowing your precious child support dollars.

On the flip side, if your child and the custodial parent are homeless... Well? (shrugs and logs off)

Sincerely,
India S.

Every Man Needs A Friend Like Steve Harvey

Let's face it, I haven’t always been a fan of Steve Harvey. As time goes by I’m actually warming up to the guy. Initially I though the whole “relationship advise” thing he was doing was just for marketing purposes. It probably is, but a lot of what he’s saying is common sense. Believe it or not, some men lack common sense when it comes to romantic relationships. I’ve witnessed men giving other men terrible advise on relationships. Here’s where you need a friend like Steve Harvey and not your homeboy you grew up with.

This thought was sparked when Steve Harvey had specific guests on his talk show. It was a couple. A woman seeking help because her boyfriend was a big flirt. It was clear that the man loved his woman, he just saw it as being harmless and not a big deal to flirt with other women. The male guest knew his actions weren’t appropriate. He also knew his woman, the one he plans on being with for a while, didn’t approve of his actions. However, none of that inspired him to change his ways. Eventually the female guest expressed to her flirtatious boyfriend that she wasn’t going to tolerate his senseless behavior and that she would be done with the relationship. This is where Steve Harvey chimes in to see where the guy stands in the relationship, to see if the guy really saw a future with the woman he was currently with.

Steve went on to ask the male guest if he loved his girlfriend, if he saw a future with his girlfriend and if he valued his girlfriend. The male guest was more than confident that he have no other intentions but to marry his girlfriend, he didn’t want to lose her. Steve then looks at the guy in pure confusion and ask “What are you doing then?”. Steve then goes on to say “a real male friend wouldn’t let you get away with this”. A real male friend wouldn’t let you do anything stupid, especially at the expense of loosing a great woman.

Here’s the problem. A lot of men are getting bad advise from other stupid, senseless men. This tends to be an ongoing problem. There need to be more people, specifically men, giving better advise. Maybe then making better decisions when it comes to relationships will become the norm.

Tyrone from 3 blocks down is giving bad advise telling you to turn up. Instead, listen to the people with common sense. Get a friend like Steve Harvey who’s willing to tell the truth.

Love You,
indiaSheana

That Awful "Gut Feeling", Trust It

Lately I've been getting gut feelings about almost everything and my gut has always been right. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but wanted to look further into why we get gut feelings and if we should really trust our natural instincts.


Let's make it interesting and talk about men and relationships. Although having gut feelings go beyond relationships I want to focus on women and why we tend to settle on the men we choose. Women, do you ever fall for a man and at the same time get a gut feeling that maybe he just isn't the one for you? A lot of the time we ignore our gut feelings and hope for the best. I would encourage you not to ignore your gut instinct. Instead, embrace your gut, go with it. You'll be surprised with the ability of your gut.

It just so happens there's a scientific explanation to that gut feeling we all get. There's a connection between our consciousness and physical body. The gut is actually it's own individual nervous system. That "gut feeling" is in every cell of our body making decisions. The cells in our body has strong memory and that helps when it comes to decision making. Our gut makes the same chemicals our brains make when the brain thinks. Our minds and bodies formulate conclusions based on prior incidents and similar circumstances under those incidents. So the gut feeling we typically get is very powerful and should be trusted more.

Here's where it gets interesting! Our gut and the nervous system in our gut doesn't have the ability to doubt itself. To sum things up, whatever decisions the cells in your body (your gut) is making is the right decisions for YOU without a doubt.

The gut doesn't lie! Remember, gut feelings aren't always associated with negative feelings. Most of the time gut feelings are great and encourages one to step outside of the box and take a risk. Next time just go with your gut.

Thank me and your gut later. We like steak!

All Men Cheat, and Women Are to Blame

Of course all men don't cheat, just the majority of them do. I don't think anyone would disagree.

Now that we've established that men cheat, let's address the REAL reason why they do. It's not because they can't control themselves, it's not because they're lacking something from their mate. It's because us women allow them to cheat and it's become the norm. Let's go back to where this "idea of a blog" came from.

I watch a lot of television. Two specific situations on reality television caught my attention. If you're familiar with the reality show "Mary Mary", it's no secret that Tina's husband was unfaithful to her. Tina is one of the members of the gospel group Mary Mary. Long story short, Tina decides to forgive her husband for cheating and work things out. There's nothing wrong with that and it's totally commendable, but it brings me to my next point.

While watching season 3 of "Basketball Wives LA", Malaysia (wife of Jannero Pargo), and Brandi (wife of Jason Maxiell) both mentioned being cheated on by their husbands and taking them back. Yes I watch television, but I also live in the real world and have noticed a pattern with men cheating and women deciding to "forgive" them and give them another chance. That's great, but men are cheating on their mate and getting away with it every time a woman decides to "keep him". It's not just the wife or girlfriend that enables a man to cheat.

The "other woman" plays a big part in men cheating. Don't get involved with a man who's in a relationship. It's simple, if there wasn't anyone for men to cheat on their mates with they wouldn't be able to do it.

Men, could you imagine your mate not allowing you to cheat and there not being any woman (or man) out there for you to cheat with? Women have the ability to take control of the situation and have to be willing to do it.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou

Weird Dreams

I had a dream about . . .

. . . A pregnant male, my sister going blind, me being a superhero, me having twins, me having triplets, me being in a Tyler Perry movie, someone letting a random dog in my house, someone breaking into my house and me killing them, me winning the lottery, me winning a large amount of money from my art, a Philly cheesesteak sandwich, babies attacking me, me being on a Food Network show to taste all of the food, me being the host on that Food Network show with the guy who has the blonde hair, me being a professional football player, Theo Huxtable, The Simpson Sisters having their own show, Malik Wright from "The Game" being gay (the character, not actor), me driving through a construction zone, me speeding through a residential area, me meeting the man from "Being Mary Jane" (the one cheating on his wife), and the list goes on.

I love being me, it's fun!